There is only one thing that is the most powerful tool and anker during all these days of dealing with my disease: meditation.
I like to thank all the teachers that have taught me the concept of mind. Sogyal Rinpoche was the Tibetan lama I went to for many years. Richard Stiegler was teaching me the western approach of transpersonal psychology. And there are more: Eckhardt Tolle, Ram Daas, Shapiro und Mooji. I am glad that I was practising sitting in silence for so long. There is a kind of training that helps me now to not run away from what I experience in almost every second of my current life. I can distinguish between all the stories that are building up in my mind and the real circumstances. Pain feels different than dizziness. I can hear my blood rushing through my veines and feel the blood clots forming and dissolving. My consciousness is part of a very dynamic universe called my body.
Since we start to understand that science or religion are not the only truth and since we are studying more and more about the Quantum field there is space again to explore the mind further more. What’s the ordering principle in the world? Who is responsible for the way we see the world around us? Who is in charge when we speak of disease and what’s the norm of a body? There is much we can project on the outside world. We can blame politicians for their decisions. We are dissatisfied with the weather or discuss how we can undermine the spreading of the racoons. Climate is changing and threatening us. There are so many topics provoking a sense of powerlessness. Limitless times this feeling was rising in my consciouness being confronted with my body that is out of ease. A friend of mind was teaching me a certain gesture advocating that I have to reclaim my power.
Building on my past experiences I was starting to practice a new kind of visualisation. These are all practices from Dr. Joe Dispenza. Next to him there are more entrepreneurs of a new way of thinking. Dr. Bruce Lipton – an American developmental biologist and researcher in the arena of stem cell behaviour – has found out that the circumstances and not the genes determine the wellbeing of a cell. It’s the new science of Epi-genetic. Gregg Braden is connecting religion and science and Deprak Chopra – an American medical doctor – fuses healing and quantum physics.
Dr. Joe Dispenza is working in the quantum field as well. His most prominent expression is the sentence: “Mind over matter”. He beliefs that there are limitless possibilities in the quantum field. All is possible. Every scenario that you imagine triggers body responses and impacts matter hereby. His message is full of hope: we are able to already connect to the field of our dreams and let them come through the power of imagination. We project them onto the physical realm and are crossing a threashold from being a victim to a creator – a very potent creator – someone that Dr.Joe speaks about as a genius. This way of belief fascinates me. His wordings and his expression of some deeper truth are resonating with my own core of being. There is hope for healing. It should be more than giving it a try. A few weeks later I’ll experience a stronger sense of ease. The physical symptoms of dizziness are still in the foreground. But inside of me there is something beginning to shift. I start playing with the suggested visualisations and begin collecting new experiences on energetic levels – the moving quality of the mind.
There is a field beyond my day to day perception. Rumi speaks about it in one of his famous poems:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
[…] Rumi – See Open Secret: Versions of Rumi with translations by Coleman Barks, John Moyne and Maulana Jalal Al-Din Rumi.
It’s this field that is of growing importance to me. It’s the field I am longing for in my meditations and my visualisations. It’s an old longing that breaks through the programms of my mind: It’s about God and the Universe and the wish to be as close to them as possible. I want to reach and know that I can’t do anything. Still I prolong the time of sitting, meditating and visualising.
Finally I am a participant in a workshop by Dr. Joe Dispenza in Rosenheim in the South of Germany. I took me a few days to arrive at the seminar place. Now I am sitting in a big hall with 1400 other participants from around the globe. I am expecting full days of teachings and practice. That’s what is happening. There are no escapes for the mental mind left in the end as to confirm. There is proof to a theory and Dr. Jow is a man who walks his talk.
He had an accident with his bicycle years ago. He describes it in a very physical manner:
I had finished the swimming segment and was in the biking portion of the race when it happened. I was coming up to a tricky turn where I knew we’d be merging with traffic. A police officer, with his back to the oncoming cars, waved me on to turn right and follow the course. Since I was fully exerting myself and focused on the race, I never took my eyes off of him. As I passed two cyclists on that particular corner, a red four-wheel-drive Bronco going about 55 miles an hour slammed into my bike from behind.
He had to surrender himself to this greater power now in order for a healing to take place. Secondly he was determined to not let slip any thought by his awareness that he didn’t want to experience. He discovered that he was the placebo.
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What to expect now?
Furtheron I want to be open and consequent in my efforts to reach a point of healing as well. I know that there is work to be done. I have good doctors around me but I can strongly sense that it is all about my mind in the end. I belief in wonders and I am on a quest to catch one. There is struggle so far and many failures. But something inside myself knows: Everything is possible.